Monday, November 11, 2013

Day Drinking...and why it's just not for me.

Don't tell anyone but I'm going to be 28 years old in approximately 5 months. Now, thankfully - I feel like my life so far gives that number some oomph. I'm okay with it. And who knows? Maybe your very late twenties and thirties are just as awesome as your early twenties - if you keep the right mind...and hunt like Van Pelt for friends who have no kids. We all know kids suck the fun out of...well, ... Not that they don't bring along a new, sort of gross but interesting fun...maybe? What am I talking about? Ask someone who has them - I've been blessed enough to keep a safe distance from that madness.

Although, I am somewhat worried about the flare of online and bookstore obsession with "what to do in your early twenties"...I've been officially past that point for a couple of years now. Why do they think you can only go scuba diving in Bali at 24? It's ludicrous. Like a person's ability to jump off things and stay in shitty hostels ends at 25. Oop! Sorry, you must all of a sudden have joint problems and too much career focus.
Ok, ending the side rant now.

Back to the point - I've noticed with some of my new found (or newly fully appreciated) older friends, they day drink! It's like this late twenties - thirties phenomenon where they refuse to go to night clubs and they're favorite drinking fun involves pseudo-intellectual conversations with retired men and lesbians. Not that retired men and lesbians can't be very interesting, but when I drink I'm still in party mode. I wanna dance, man. Or at the very least let's play a game. Standing around (or sitting around) just isn't going to cut it for a great time. I'm wondering if my opinion will change on this, but until then here are 3 reasons I hate day drinking:

1. I get sunburnt! Half the beauty of nightlife (for me) is the night part. I can roam the streets and stand around beer tents for hours without even a moment's thought of "oh god - I could get skin cancer". Day drinking just ruins all of that for me. I have to put on a layer of sunscreen, then a layer of makeup...only to wait an hour and then ruin the makeup with a new layer of sunscreen. In an hour and half I smell like a bottle of Coppertone, I'm as shiny as if I just ran a marathon, and my whole body sticks to itself. You just don't understand until you've been there. If you're expected to actually look cute and it starts before 5, count me out. This is the reason I love sports games. Everyone looks disgusting and no one cares - that is just not the case at your afternoon beer crawl.

2. Where is the food? These day drinkers hang out all day and no one ever eats. Speaking as someone who sits down for about 5 meals a day, this is just plain unacceptable. Plus, drinking makes me hungrier. Unless we're having beer. Nah, I still get hungry. It's one thing to be distracted by loud, crazy club music or all night dancing. But, when I'm standing around chit chatting about work and men and furniture design, my tummy better be full or you're gonna get a face full of bitchy.

3. The time line is all off. Normally, you start drinking about 10 o'clock, you're dancing your butt off until 1:30 AM. At 2-2:30, you pick up a slice. Get home at 3, chug three glasses of water. On a bad night, you wake up at 6 AM with a headache, chug three more glasses of water and bam! Either way, you're ready for a perfect Sunday brunch at 11. Alas, when you day start drinking at 11. By 1-1:30 you're starving and bored - so you sneak off alone and eat too much. Between the food settling, the sun, and too much booze - you're headache starts at 5 PM (if you managed to find everyone again). At 8 o'clock you crash out. Only to wake up fully rested and miserable at 7 AM the next morning. Inevitably you're going to lay in bed and watch TV until 9:30, then promptly fall back asleep. You aren't actually up until 2 PM the next day. You're one "day-drinking" turned into a 10 hour hangover. Um, no thanks.

I mean, it's obviously a blast for tan people who drink protein shakes and have more control over their alcohol intake. For me it's a definite no brainier - I'll always pick a night out with silly college kids in a club with a pirate theme dancing to Lady Gaga mash-ups.

Regardless- after all that complaining, I know a snapshot of a cute little hand hugger is a nice change of pace:
Annnnd back to the grind I guess, xo